It started to rain just as I was about to step out of the office, get groceries (i.e. a carton of milk, a bottle of water, a can of tuna, a can of soup, and a bag of potatoes), and go home, so I guess I'll post an update while waiting out the rain--which is getting stronger as I type.
The other weekend, I went home in time for Kalilangan. Pictures here.
The funny thing was that all the thinking I usually do during a one-or-two-week homecoming, I managed to do in two-and-a-half days. The usual is basically:
1. My life in Manila, and having to return to it
3. My career
4. Stuff I miss about my family
The other funny thing was that I left with my head clearer than it usually is after a homecoming.
My plan now is to enjoy today. I have a sort-of-distant date in mind for a much longer return home, but that's not going to be an excuse for me to do well where I am right now. Nor will I pass up on special opportunities as they come by--even if seizing one might actually mean putting off my return for an even later date, whether that's by two or three years or indefinitely. I won't let my desire to go home keep me from finding something worth staying here for.
And speaking of things worth staying for, I feel like I can finally just enjoy being with Martin without worrying about the future. Last year, setting my sights on the future, however clouded, helped dull the difficulty of the present. Now that the present is much better, I'm slowly relearning not only how to accept it, but also how to enjoy it. Already, I'm much happier for it. I'm glad for Martin's patience, too.
There's a part 2 to this post, but it's stopped raining, so I'm going to take off now. Cheers.